Yesterday after checking through my email I noticed Shutterfly had sent me an email for one free 8x8 photo book. I had been wanting to make Lennox his own baby book since last year I made one for Jowell. I started looking through all the pictures of my pregnancy and of Lennox. I got to the album of the photos taken after Lennox was born (there were non of the actual labor and delivery unfortunately) and realized that I had never actually looked through the photos after I uploaded them to the computer. And for those of you who are friends with me on Facebook know that I posted a photo of Lennox's first latch. I am so greatful for all the support on the photo and breastfeeding, especially the support from the momma's who chose not to breastfeed but still fully supported the idea of breastfeeding you guys are awesome! I unfortunately did receive one notification that someone did report my photo for having "nudity or pornography". As upset as it made me to receive that, the outpour of love and support from everyone was incredible, there were even some breastfeeding momma's that shared their own never before seen nursing photos in protest of the individual who disapproved of sharing such a beautiful moment. I decided to share the rest of the photos taken after Lennox was born.
I was in my 39th week of pregnancy and my OB's were so worried that I would develop preeclampsia for the second time since I had became preeclamptic at 31 weeks when I was pregnant with my first son Jowell. I had talked to the doctors about trying to have a V-BAC but they were leaning more toward having another c-section just to be on the safe side. Thankfully during my 39 week appointment I had already been 2cm dilated and they decided to let me keep progressing instead of going forward with a c-section. So I very impatiently waited for any signs that labor was starting...only a few cramps here and there but nothing consistent. With the help of my sister Michelle we tried everything to jump start labor. On the morning of the 29th me and Jowell went over to my parents house for breakfast. I had been having a little cramping the night before but it seemed as though all cramping had completely stopped by the morning. So as me my parents and my sister talked I took the time to walk around in circles to try and get things going again. I started feeling something going on down there. There were some mild cramps but nothing too crazy..but the pressure was starting to get pretty uncomfortable. Finally my sister told me to call Louis at work and tell him to take me to the hospital just to get me checked out since I have a pretty high pain tolerance and we were nervous that maybe I had already dilated a good bit but just didn't feel it. So Louis rushed home from work, my sister helped me pack a few extra things in my hospital bag, then me and Louis were off to the hospital.
When we got there the nurses set us up in a room and we waited to see the doctor. I was still considered high risk even though I didn't have preeclampsia so they collected some urine to check if the levels of protien in my urine had elevated then checked my blood pressure. It had seemed ok but higher than normal. So the doctor came in to check my cervix and talk to me about what to do next. My second blood pressure reading was a lot higher than the first one and the protien levels had gotten higher also. I hadn't dilated any more so we has to decide if we wanted to wait or go through with a c-section, but bottom line was they had to get him out soon because I once again had become preeclamptic.
We decided to wait and try to bring on labor naturally by having them break my water. I was so nervous and thought it might hurt but all I felt was a tiny but of pressure and a whole lot of warm liquid. We waited all night for any contractions, I only had a few but they weren't getting consistent or stronger. Soon I had to be put on magnesium for my preeclampsia and I really really really hate that stuff...it makes you so hot, you feel extremely groggy, bright lights hurt your eyes, and you just feel extremely out of it. I was no longer allowed to get up to use the bathroom because the magnesium makes you extremely weak and you can collapse on the floor from feeling so weighted while on the medication. It was either a bed pan or a catheter and I choose bed pan because to me the pain and discomfort of having a catheter out weighed anything else.
They discussed started pitocin to kick start contraction, the only issue is that magnesium counter acts the pitocin because magnesium is also sometimes used during preterm labor to stop contraction. They decided to start a small amount of pitocin and slowly up the drip in hopes that it could help me dilate with out the magnesium getting in the way. At 9:30am they started the pitocin, at first the pain wasn't so horrible, I was really determined to go through labor with out any pain meds but as the hours ticked by the contractions got stronger and stronger. By 9:30pm I was exhausted and my whole body was trembling. My OB came back in to check if I had dilated anymore. Extremely hopeful I bit through the pain as she checked my cervix while I had another contraction. "Only 3-4cm" once she said that I felt like my whole world crumbled, almost 12 hours had gone by with my gritting my teeth through the pain of every contraction and I had only dilated a centimeter. I felt so hopeless and like this labor would never end. The doctor offered to preform a c-section for the 100th time and once again I refused, I was going to push this baby out if it was the last thing I did. Thankfully through our all this my blood pressure had been prefect and the babies heartbeat was great. I prayed through every contraction asking god to give me strength to push through.
At around 12am the contractions were right ontop of each other and I was gripping the railing of the bed so hard my knuckles would turn white. I was absolutely exhausted and asked the nurse to get the doctor to check me once more hoping I had dilated more and could start pushing soon. Once again I was only 4cm, and this time the doctor instructed the nurses to put a catheter in to measure my urine output better. It was excruciating, I absolutely hate having to have a catheter. That was the straw that broke the camels back. I started to cry, feeling as if I failed myself and the baby, I wanted to solider through but I had no more fight in me. If I did ever get to the point of pushing I didn't even know if I could, I hadn't slept more than 30 minutes since 3pm the day before.
I text my sister who had been like a midwife to me (she unfortunately couldn't be there with me because she had her own newborn at home) I told her how ashamed I felt for not being able to push through and how badly I wanted the epidural. She told me it was nothing to be ashamed of, that I should be proud of how far I had gotten and what an amazing job I was doing, I cried, I asked Louis what he thought I should do and I could see the concern on his face because he knew how much pain I was in, he wasn't sure what to say because before we got to the hospital I told him that no matter what not to let me give in and get the epidural. He finally told me that I should get it, that I had fought long enough and it was time for me to rest.
My nurses came in and I asked if I could get the epidural. They told me how proud and surprised they were that I had made it this far with out any pain meds because contractions induced by pitocin are extremely brutal and more that 75% of women who are put on pitocin ask for pain meds with in the first hour that they are on it. I was proud of myself for making it this far but I still wished that I could have held out longer, I guess I was just trying to prove to myself that I was strong enough to handle labor. I still had to wait about 20 minutes before I could get an epidural but for some reason the thought of being relieved of the pain helped me get through the last few contractions before the anesthesiologist came in.
After the epidural kicked in I was finally able to relax, the catheter stopped hurting and I only felt a few dull cramps on my right side because for some reason the epidural didn't fully work on me, but I didn't care, I was just relieved to be able to lay in the bed with out having to curl up in the fetal position. I finally layed down and was able to get a hour of sleep.
A little after 2am I woke up because I started feeling an overwhelming amount of pressure down there. It would get worse during every contraction. Nervous that the epidural wasn't working again I asked the nurse to have the anesthesiologist check. Everything was working fine. My nurse said the babies head is probably getting into position and that she would call the doctor to check if I was fully dilated yet.
Dr. Lincoln the doctor on shift at night (she was awesome and super supportive of me having a V-BAC) came in, she thanked me again for the cookies I had brought her and the nurses the night before. She told me to cross my fingers that I had dilated more and when she checked I had dilated 4 more centimeters and was now at 8cm. She told me that the babies head was already engaged in the birth canal and that it should be less than a hour before he will be here. She told me she would be back in an hour to check again.
As the hour passed the pressure became more and more intense. I HAD to push, the urge was so overwhelming. My nurse told me to hold tight and she would find the doctor to come in and check. When she came back she told me that the women in the two rooms next to me were getting ready to push also and that Dr. Lincoln was working her way down to us. She told me that even though I really wanted to push not to or else it could irritate the cervix making it harder for the last bit of cervix to dilate.
The doctor had moved to the room right next to us and I could here her and the nurses cheering then mom on to push. All I heard is "ok push, 1...2...3...ok now breath" and as much as the nurse told me not to push I couldn't help but push a little, especially hearing the events in the other room. I started to panic, the pressure was overwhelming and with every passing contraction the pain started coming back. The doctor finally made her way to our room. She checked my cervix and told me I was 9cm, I still had one more centimeter to go before I could push. All I could think is how could that be possible? He is right there I can feel it. I need to push, I can't wait.
I started to panic again. She told me to wait a hour and she would be back to check. She upped the epidural to try and get me to relax to help me dilate quicker but there was no relaxing for me. My nurse came over to my bed, her and Louis tried their hardest to help me relax and get through the contractions. Trying to breath and ride the waves of pain until they stopped was difficult but I had no choice but to do it. The hour seemed like an eternity. I felt like I couldn't do it. Should I give up? tell them to perform a c-section and just get it over with? I came this far, would I be able to push through?
I made up my mind, I told Louis if the doctor comes in and I'm not fully dilated I'm having a c-section. I couldn't do it any longer, I was done. I was trembling again, exhausted and extremely hungry. I whispered to Louis "I know this is weird for me to ask you but can you pray with me?" He looked me in my eyes kissed my forehead and said "of course" I started to pray "lord, please help me through this, you have helped me get this far, please give me your strength to push through. I am in awe of the miracles you have performed for me and my baby, for keeping me healthy, for blessing me with the love and support of everyone, I just need your help to get through this last bit. I have faith in all that you do lord, in Jesus name amen." As I am praying I got a overwhelming warm feeling and began to cry, I look up and see my nurse by her computer wiping tears from her face. I knew that I could do this. I knew that I had the strength to push this baby out. The doctor finally came in, I anxiously waited for her answer, "so I don't feel anymore cervix" I lit up "so that means I can push?" She said "yup, it's time to have this baby" I apologized and broke out into a sniffling crying mess, I was so happy and relieved. I was about to push out a baby. I wanted to be able to experience a vaginal birth and here I was. I thanked The Lord for getting me here.
The doctor started to explain how to push, and not to get discouraged if I didn't push him out right away since this was my first time. She said sometimes it takes women anywhere from 30 minutes to a hour to push a baby out but I didn't care, I needed to push. I kept apologizing to them incase I crapped myself, they laughed and told me if I did it's ok because a lot of women do it. So Louis and my nurse held my legs back I took a deep breath and started to push. It hurt but at the same time it was sort of relieving. Louis, the doctor and my nurse start to crack jokes, I'm laughing and pushing at the same time and all of a sudden I hear Louis say "I can see his head!" I took another deep and pushed as hard as I can. My doctor says "well you don't have to show off now" and laughs a little, I know that I'm crowning now and it burns, I let out a loud grunt as I hear Louis cheering me on saying "you can do it baby, he is right there, your amazing!" All of a sudden the burning stops and the doctor tells me his head is out. I yell "can you just pull him out" she laughs and says "don't worry only a two more pushes and he's out" I take another deep breath and push as hard as I can and I feel him slide out. He proceeds to pee on the doctor and nurse.
They lay him on my chest and I see this beautiful little boy looking up at me. Louis gives me a kiss and says "you did it baby, your amazing, I love you" they clamp his cord and let Louis cut it, then bring him over to the warmer to measure and weigh him while they remove the placenta. Lennox starts to cry once they remove him off of me, the doctor tells me to give another push to help the placenta come out. Once it's out I hear a splash of liquid on the floor and the doctor ask for some towels. Apparently I start to bleed a lot. They insert a pill into my bottom to help stop the bleeding, I'm greatful for dr Lincoln and my nurse, they were amazing.
I am still extremely out of it from the magnesium but they lay Lennox on my chest and he wiggles his way to my nipple and starts to suckle. I lay there in awe of this amazing little boy I just pushed out.
I love that you got so many pictures! <3
ReplyDelete